The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either see it here there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon go now sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry my latest blog post with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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